Confessions of a Hypocrite

Hypocrite. Sounds so negative... It's something I have always so strongly opposed and something I've stood on my soap box about. I'm always pushing for being real, genuine, not being afraid of being different, anticonformity... It's something I've been all about... It's been so scary realizing that I've started to see some of that in me. It started to creep up and once I saw it, it hurt. Hurt bad. Not me... that's not me. I couldn't allow myself to act different than I am... But I did. I put on a different face for those that I was around. Why though? What for? I thought I had left this... So now the question is... Will I allow it to continue or will I go back to what I know is true? Will I be confident in who I am and not put on a facade to try to appear differently? Will I live out of who God says I am and allow that to be enough? Will I stand strong against temptation and selfish ambition? Will I trust God? Not just trust in Him... trust Him. Will I be real? I choose to be real and live out of who God says I am and trust Him. It's not always easy, but I know God is going to help me with this struggle. He's always got my back and I am so thankful for His grace! For His unconditional love. He never runs out of second chances for me, but sometimes I wonder if I'll ever learn... "Lord, never let me get comfortable with where I am and please keep speaking to me and shaping me. Even though it may hurt, continue to mold me."

"You will ask me, are you satisfied? Have you got all you want? God forbid. With the deepest feeling of my soul I can say that I am satisfied with Jesus now; but there is also the conciousness of how much fuller the revelation can be of the exceeding abundance of His grace. Let us never hesitate to say, this is only the beginning."

- Andrew Murray

"Trust Me, my child," He says. "Trust Me with a fuller abandon than you ever have before. Trust me, as minute succeeds minute, every day of your life, for as long as you live. And if you become conscious of anything hindering our relationship, do not hurt Me by turning away from Me. Draw all the closer to Me, come, run to Me. Allow me to hide you, to protect you, even from yourself. Tell Me your deepest cares, your every trouble. Trust Me to keep My hand upon you. I will never leave you. I will shape you, mold you, and perfect you. Do not fear, O child of My love, do not fear. I love you."

- Amy Carmichael