Sunday, July 19, 2009

A Crying Heart


Do you ever get fed up with life? It's like you know how you want it to be and what it should be, but you're just not there!

Friends, relationships, people, humans... We're all so messed up. I was just about to rant about how I'm so sick of people and being let down, but then... I looked in the mirror and realized that I'm one of them.

Do you ever just want to scream? Do you ever want to cry? I have no reason for it, but then I have millions at the same time. This is where I am.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Undistracted Devotion

Distractions. What constitutes as a distraction? How do you even realize distractions? Isn't that part of it? You don't realize you're even being distracted! And when you do realize it, sometimes it's a little late. I know you're probably wondering what exactly I'm talking about... I'm just talking about stuff in life that just takes your focus off of what you truly want or need. My purpose in life is to bring glory and honor to God with my whole life. I am to humble myself, love, and make much of God. I should live my life making the most of every moment with my dreams, purpose, and goals before me. Distractions just mess that all up. I think the key is to realize when we are starting to be distracted. Realizing them for what they are and that they aren't what we're truly after. We so easily lose sight of the big picture and settle for momentary pleasure or happiness.  I think this chapter in Proverbs gets the point across wonderfully-- especially the last three verses.  

Proverbs 4

Hear, O sons, the instruction of a father,
And give attention that you may gain understanding,
For I give you sound teaching;
Do not abandon my instruction.
When I was a son to my father,
Tender and the only son in the sight of my mother,
Then he taught me and said to me,
"Let your heart hold fast my words;
Keep my commandments and live;
Acquire wisdom! Acquire understanding!
Do not forget nor turn away from the words of my mouth.
"Do not forsake her, and she will guard you;
Love her, and she will watch over you.
"The beginning of wisdom is: Acquire wisdom;
And with all your acquiring, get understanding.
"Prize her, and she will exalt you;
She will honor you if you embrace her.
"She will place on your head a garland of grace;
She will present you with a crown of beauty."
Hear, my son, and accept my sayings
And the years of your life will be many.
I have directed you in the way of wisdom;
I have led you in upright paths.
When you walk, your steps will not be impeded;
And if you run, you will not stumble.
Take hold of instruction; do not let go
Guard her, for she is your life.
Do not enter the path of the wicked
And do not proceed in the way of evil men.
Avoid it, do not pass by it;
Turn away from it and pass on.
For they cannot sleep unless they do evil;
And they are robbed of sleep unless they make someone stumble.
For they eat the bread of wickedness
And drink the wine of violence.
But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn,
That shines brighter and brighter until the full day.
The way of the wicked is like darkness;
They do not know over what they stumble.
My son, give attention to my words;
Incline your ear to my sayings.
Do not let them depart from your sight;
Keep them in the midst of your heart.
For they are life to those who find them
And health to all their body.
Watch over your heart with all diligence,
For from it flow the springs of life.
Put away from you a deceitful mouth
And put devious speech far from you.
Let your eyes look directly ahead
And let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you.
Watch the path of your feet
And all your ways will be established.
Do not turn to the right nor to the left;
Turn your foot from evil.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Long Time

It’s been a while since I’ve written. But it’s time. So much has happened in the past six months. It’s crazy. I wish that I could write everything, but my fingers would be tired. Ha Above all, the Lord is so good. He continually blows me away with His goodness and complete faithfulness. He’s taught me so much.

So just a snapshot of what the Lord has been doing lately in my life…

One of the girls in my small group finally gave her life to the Lord two weeks ago and it was absolutely amazing! I’ve been praying for this girl for at least a year and talking to her about salvation. She finally surrendered to God. :) I’ve been so excited! I actually dedicated a post to her back in December entitled “Lovely Sad Eyes.” I have been able to see the sadness turn to joy. What a remarkable God I serve!

One of my best friends got married. She’s the first of my close friends to tie the knot. It’s been an adjustment, but I’m so happy for them. The Lord has had His hand on them from the very beginning and I have been so blessed to see the Lord work in their lives. May God receive all honor and glory from their lives as they are joined together!

I’ve come to a place that is so cherished, but often forsaken—satisfaction in the Lord. Contentment in singleness.

The Lord has brought me through a struggle with depression and given me joy that comes from Him alone.

The Lord has taught me the balance between pouring out and being filled. He has shown me my Martha tendency and drawn me to His feet. I understand that story more than I ever have.

Every plan that I have ever made has been turned on its head. I’ve learned not to make plans, but instead trust God with the future and follow each step as He leads. The adventure is sweeter like that anyway. :)

The Lord has opened my eyes to the enormous mission field here in my backyard. I have fallen in love with it. I only pray that my desire to share God’s love grows as each day passes. In the words of Ann Kiemel, “I’m out to change my world!” Read her book if you need a little inspiration! Oh and Crazy Love by Francis Chan too!

Recent cd purchases: City of Black & White by Mat Kearney, Not without Love by Jimmy Needham, & Kari Jobe (self-titled)
All amazing!

Pray for me. I need more of Jesus, I’m full of failures, I have struggles, I’m sinful, I waste time, and I’m prideful. Like I said, I need more of Jesus.

I quit my job at the end of May. Everyone thinks I’m crazy. It’s okay, I had my reasons and I haven’t regretted it. However, it’s been humbling and I’m trusting the Lord more deeply.

I will be attending the University of Memphis in the fall. I’m totally stoked, but also kinda nervous. Major: Spanish. (The Lord better know what He’s doin! Haha)

I deleted both my Facebook and MySpace. It was one of the best decisions I've made all year. I've rebelled against social networking and it has been completely liberating! I have a whole book's worth of reasons why, but I won't bore you. All I can say is, "DO IT!!!"

I’m not the same girl I was a year ago.

I’ve learned the precious treasure of solitude. I’ve been on two camping trips by myself. They were wonderful! Just another reason people think I’m crazy… ;) An eventual goal is to jump on a plane by myself.

I’ve come so far, but yet have so, so, so far to go…

I leave you with this…
“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
Annie Dillard