Hope?

There are about 6 situations I'm in right now that I don't want to be in. Everything in me wants to just run away. However... I know that won't make them go away. The thing that really makes me cringe is that I got myself into each one of them... I am a complete mess. Really, I am. Lately I have even been questioning my sanity. I am constantly having to pick myself up off of the floor. The only thing that gives me any clarity of mind is spending time with the Lord. I am utterly dependent on Him. He is the only place that things make sense. Oh how I am so hopeless without Him. I plead with Him not to give up on me... I'm on my knees in the morning telling Him how I surrender, long to obey, and desire His will and then go and get in the way, doing things my way. Do I really trust Him? Do I truly believe that His way is the absolute best? Am I willing to follow and leave everything behind? Why is there such a disconnect between knowing and doing? This is why I cannot live without Him. I am completely dependent on His grace and forgiveness. Left on my own, I follow death. He guides me into life. Oh how I despise my flesh... May there be hope for me yet... My gaze is drawn upward into the heavens. The Father cups my head in His hands, looks at me in complete love, and whispers His words that soothe my soul. My heart leaps, realizing who it is that looks at me. There is victory in the Lord! There is hope!

John 16:33

"These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world."